Our feelings and attitudes have an enormous impact on our ability to reach’happily ever after.’ Are feelings and attitudes a similar thing or different? Does one cause another to happen? Which has more power over how we respond? Does the individual experiencing them have any choice in the situation? What if they’re in conflict?
Feelings are what they are. We can’t force them. You fall madly head over heels in love with someone or you don’t.’You can lead a horse to water however, you can’t make him drink’comes to mind as I try to spell out feelings. There is no magical way to change how we feel. Our feelings aren’t right or wrong, they only exist. Feelings are extremely powerful and definitely have a control over how we make choices and how we undertake life. Think about the money Attitude Images, time, and focus we put into wanting to feel good and avoiding feeling bad. It goes against human nature to want to feel bad.
Feelings are situated in emotions. Emotions originate from the heart. Therefore, I don’t think we are able to change them from in your logical minds. If your girlfriend leaves you, then you feel hurt. You can’t be expected to simply stop feeling hurt. You’ll feel some amount of sadness before you have finished feeling sad. It’s possible to distract yourself for awhile, nevertheless the feelings will just lay dormant before you allow them time to fully run their course. There’s nothing wrong with wanting to distract yourself from the bad feelings of missing your girlfriend, but it will decrease the process. There are constructive things you can certainly do to help the processing of your feelings. Regardless of how you handle your feelings, you’re planning to feel what you feel until it works it’s way through your heart. You may always miss her and feel a slight tug at your heart when you think back, nevertheless the overwhelming sadness will ultimately pass. It always does. That’s why they say’time heals all wounds.’ You can’t maintain anyone feeling indefinitely. Emotions of course are shifting and uncontrollable. They only are what they are.
What about our attitudes? A complete multi-million dollar industry has been built around the energy of a positive attitude. A wouldn’t have survived and thrived since it has when it wasn’t a valid and real concept. Our attitudes are rooted within our belief systems. Our belief systems are chosen by our logical minds. Therefore, it’s possible to create a conscious decision to change it. Our minds have complete and total control over what we believe. I don’t think I must bore you with another longwinded speech concerning the powers of a positive attitude. If you’ve ever used it, then you have proven for yourself that it is possible to create an internal adjustment regarding your attitude.
So, that is stronger? Which includes more influence over our choices and behaviors? Does one overpower another? Let’s claim that you find yourself falling madly head over heals in love with someone. That’s a feeling, an emotion. It arises from your heart. However, at once, you’re entertaining a very pessimistic attitude towards love and relationships in general. The attitude arises from your mind. That may win out, the feelings of falling in love or the dark attitude? It’s hard to say. If you change your attitude, then your feelings to be in love can grow and perhaps develop into a wonderful supply of joy for you. If you hang on tightly to your attitude, then eventually it will wear on the loving feelings and you’ll eventually stop loving that other person. What if the feelings of love were so amazingly powerful, that they caused the attitude to change and your core belief system about love and relationships changed too? Your feelings can definitely have an impact on your own attitude, but more frequently than not, your attitude wins.
Your attitude is no more powerful because it’s more important than your feelings. It’s more powerful because it’s more stubborn than your feelings. Let’s look again at our example where the feelings are positive and the attitude is negative. We’ve seen people fall madly in love with an individual who loved them in return. These same people had bad attitudes about love and relationships in general. Their feelings were incapable of overpower their attitude. They believe’it’s never going to work out anyway’and develop a self-fulfilling prophecy. By not believing in love, they destroy their good relationship and then feel hurt by the failed relationship. Their minds take that as evidence to help expand continue with the negative attitude regarding love. The reason the attitude wins the battle more frequently then our feelings is really because feelings are ever-changing and flexible while attitudes are often locked into place and become an unmovable force.
What if the feelings were bad and the attitude was good? If you felt afraid that you may be rejected by the alternative sex, but you had a positive attitude towards love generally because you’d had’happily ever after’role modeled to you as a kid, then you could choose to keep moving forward despite your feelings of fear. Your attitude would win out over your feelings once again.
If your feelings and attitudes match, then you have an inner balance and harmony within yourself. Isn’t this the age-old battle between heart and head? Attitude arises from your head and feelings originate from your heart. When the 2 agree you have the ability to focus and progress with confidence. When the 2 have reached war you’ve to choose that is right… the heart’s feelings or the head’s attitude? Perhaps in sitting quietly and looking inward at our feelings and attitudes from a detached perspective, we are able to evaluate and chose for ourselves on a case-by-case basis which should lead us.